Saturday, January 03, 2009

another amazing moment

I hate to put two "writing" posts back to back, but I had to blog this memory I am still living in before I forget how amazing it was.

Tomorrow is my last day of Christmas break, which makes me sad and okay all at once. There is a part of me that looks forward to going back to work since I love my job. Then there's the other part of me that will miss my girl. I won't lie however and say that our break together has been all roses. The lack of nuk has made getting Hadley to nap and to sleep at night quite difficult. Frankly I have been beyond frustrated with the whole situation. Today is day two of no nap at all because after an hour of trying to get her to sleep I just give up. I have tried every method there is, cry it out doesn't work with her because she is too stubborn, she will literally cry for two hours, never giving up if you let her. Taking away her most prized possession, the Wonder Pets, didn't matter either. Anyway, that is where I am at with that.

Mike and I decided today that we would try to keep her up until 8pm instead of her normal 7pm bedtime thinking that perhaps she is getting too much sleep at night. At this point, you just start to grasp at straws trying to figure out what will work! (: Anyway, we were having fun dancing and running around and then at about 7:10 I suggested we read some books. She crawled up on my lap and we read a few books. Then at about 7:30 she turned herself around so she was hugging me and we just started rocking. My new love in music, Ingrid Michaelson, was playing in the background one of her amazing songs and neither of us talked, we just rocked.

I realized all of the sudden that she was sleeping. I turned her around so I could see her face and she was sound asleep. She just snuggled in and continued with her slumber. I just kept rocking and stared at her. It has been AGES since we have had a moment like that. Now that she is an energetic toddler she rarely wants to cuddle with me. I just looked at her angelic face and tears came to my eyes. I was simply overcome with emotion at how much I love this little being. Even when she is frustrating or sassy or just downright exhausting, she is mine and I love her with every single inch of who I am.

I couldn't stop, I just kept rocking. I wanted to live in the moment forever. I wanted to stop time and never move. I wanted to stop before the times that we cuddle become even less, before she loses her innocence, before she gets her heart hurt for the first time, before she grows up and moves on. I watched her and told myself to never forget this moment. I tend to get wrapped up with to do lists, housework, and just the day to day happenings of life. I want to take more time to have the moments that make life the beautiful gift that it is. I am so lucky.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Wow, Jill. You've made me a bit misty.