Next friday, I go back to the grind. Yep, three months have passed, my time at home passed right along with it. The other day someone said to me, "don't you just wish you could stay home?" Oh boy, how do I answer this one... Will the person look at me in shock if I answer truthfully? Do I just lie to sound like a woman "should"? Or, does this person feel the same as me?
The truthful answer is no, I do not wish I could stay home. Will I miss my children? Yes. Are there some days when I wish I could stay at home with them? Yes. However, in general, for me, I do not wish to stay at home. For me, working makes me a better person and definitely a better mother.
I start all of these statements with "for me" because I don't judge anyone else for feeling differently than me. I think stay at home moms are amazing and making a fantastic choice. It just isn't the choice for me. What bothers me is when I am judged for my choice.
I need to feel part of something bigger. I need to feel like I am giving back to the world in more than just raising my children. I need to have something that is just for me. It doesn't hurt that I love what I do. I love my job. I love getting to work with other people's children and help them along their life path.
Will I shed a tear when I leave my second born for the first time, sure will. Will it hurt my heart to be away from her, sure will. Again, I still make the same choice. I choose to work. I like to work.
I also love my children.
2 comments:
Well said Jill! I know all those children are happy you make that choice. You give so much of yourself to so many because of your decision. I envy what you do for yourself, your children, your husband, your family and your friends.
You don't know how glad I am that you posted this. I'm about to make a possible going back to work decision and it's been making feel guilty. This really helped...I too feel like I'll be an even better mom if I go for it and broaden my life which in turn will hopefully broaden theirs!
Good Luck on your first day, all your "kids" will be happy to see you!
Penn
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