My thoughts...

My thoughts….
 
I’m giving you an out, don’t read any further if you don’t want to know how I am currently feeling about the current issues affecting teachers.
 
I am not going to argue points of the bill Walker is proposing, I am simply going to write how I am feeling.  Because, as most know, that is what I do when I am going through something…
 
I have only been this scared once before in my life.  I am talking the kind of scared that keeps you up at night, the kind of scared that makes you unable to function as you normally do.  The kind of scared that makes you an ineffective parent, because you can’t concentrate just on your children and how great they are, because you are scared for their future.
 
That one other time was when I thought I had cancer and might die.
 
Try to imagine something.  Imagine that you were lucky enough to obtain your dream job.  Imagine that you were lucky enough to have a job that completed who you are as a person.  Imagine that you were excited to wake up and go to work because you actually felt like you might have a just a miniscule impact on the life of a child.
 
That is what I have.  I love my job.  I went to get my Masters degree and incurred a large amount of debt in order to do so, just so I could have this job.  My dream.  Something I dreamed of as a little child.
 
Now, try to remember that that is where I am coming from and many many others when you get upset with them over voicing, peacefully, that they are upset and scared.  Try to imagine if there was something that was going to make it impossible for you to live your dream, whatever that may be. I have come to school and worked every day during this whole deal, but don’t think that my heart isn’t in Madison.  Don’t think that I don’t wish I was there.  There is nothing wrong with standing up for what you believe in.  That is what I will teach my children.   
 
I am also scared about what this means for the education of my children.  I believe in public education.  It is something I have always thought I would take advantage of for my children.  However, I want my children to be able to learn.  Classrooms of 50 children with a lack of resources is not what I want for my children.  I am scared for my children’s education. 
 
Two things are very possible to come out of this situation for me.  One is that my job will be eliminated.  The other is that it financially won’t be possible for me to do it any longer because the pay will be cut so significantly.  I hope that that is not the case.  I am praying that that is not the case.  It might be though, so try to understand that is what people like me are going through right now.
 
In our house we can’t rely on just one income, we just aren’t that fortunate.  We live already with no extra’s pretty much.  That is just our life.  A life we are fine with and love. 
 
Please remember these things when you get upset at people like me.  It is okay to think this is a good idea, it is okay to support this bill.  That is America.  People feel differently and they are allowed to.  But, please, don’t say hateful and hurtful things.  Please don’t get frustrated at me for feeling differently than you.  Please remember that at the end of the day I am just scared.  I am scared for my children.  I am scared for myself.  I am scared for my dream. 
 
I am just scared.