Goal #1, done.

August of 2008 brought about lots of experiences in my life. One of the choices I made that month was to go to Weight Watchers. Before I write about that I want to clarify one thing.

I made the choice for myself.

I didn’t feel like I needed to prove anything. I didn’t feel like I had to be skinny. I didn’t feel like I needed to impress my husband or anyone else for that matter. I didn’t feel like my weight defined me. I didn’t feel like I wasn’t a good enough person already. None of those things were an issue, I wanted to be healthy, for myself, plain and simple.

I made the choice because the lack of control I had over the lump in my neck made me realize that if there were things I could control that would make me healthier so I could stick around longer I wanted to do that.

I have joined weight watchers several times in the past and would often be successful, but would never ever let myself, for whatever reason, reach my goal in the end. I just never did it. I always ended up stopping for one reason or the other.

Last night, I made my goal weight.

My goal weight was also nothing that was unattainable. I won’t be wearing a bikini this summer, don’t have a flat stomach, and never will. I chose a weight that was within the healthy guidelines, but was something I felt I could maintain.

I can’t explain how good I feel. I am running, feel healthy, and feel great about the way I look. While I never needed that to feel complete, it feels pretty darn good. I am lucky because I have a husband that tells me every day, without fail, that I am beautiful. He has never missed a day and it didn’t matter what I looked like.

The feeling that I had when my weight watchers leader looked at me and gave me a high five was awesome. I had done it, I finally let myself achieve it.

Now onto goal #2 to be completed in July….