3 days

I've had this goal for a long time.

It didn't start just this year. It was about 6 years ago actually. I was working out at the Y and I heard some ladies talking about training for a triathlon. I thought to myself, wouldn't it be cool if I could accomplish something like that? I got all psyched about it, decided I was going to do it, even sent out an email to friends asking if they'd like to join me. Then I stopped myself, the doubt kicked in, "I can't do that", "someone like me could never accomplish something like that". All those wonderful stupid voices inside my head talked myself out of it before I even really looked into it.

You see, I have never been very athletic. I was always the "fat" kid in school and heard lots of comments from lots of people about all the things I couldn't do. After awhile I just started believing it myself. It was easier that way. However, that was adolescence, we all go through some stuff in those years.

When I went to college I started believing in myself. It didn't happen overnight and I still doubt myself on things at times. As above, I was able to talk myself out of that triathlon just 6 years ago.

The situation with my neck last year changed me. It made me realize that there is no time for doubting and that I just need to believe in myself. So that is what I did. I got much healthier and in the process lost 42 pounds. I decided, thanks to a wonderful friend who knows who she is, to complete something that I never thought I could do.

I will do this triathlon.

I started "training" in January when I began to run. Just the other day I was reliving what that has been for me. I started out only able to run 30 seconds and walk 4 1/2 minutes. I did that on and off for 30 minutes. Walk 4 1/2, run 30 seconds. I remember thinking, I am NEVER going to be able to run a full 30 minutes. I was wrong. I have run two 5K's since then and am able to run more than thirty minutes.

When I started swimming I made it four lengths of the pool before I was out of breath and had to stop. Now I can do all 40 lengths of the pool without stopping.

The biking was what I was most comfortable with from the beginning and that has stayed true. I never went on a 12.8 mile bike ride intentionally before, but I have grown to love it.

I am nervous for this Sunday, that is the truth, but I will do it, and that is the truth.

What I think about the most is what it will feel like when my feet cross that finish line. I don't care if it takes me 20 hours (which it better not!) the feeling of accomplishing something like this I truly can't imagine right now. All I know is that it will be awesome.