Sometimes I have these moments when I am overwhelmed with emotion. Sometimes it's because of my daughter, sometimes it's because of my life, and sometimes it's because of something completely random.

This week was tough.

I can't explain the details of why, because of what I do it is confidential. However, what I can say is that sometimes the pain of what the children I work with go through is too much for me. Sometimes it literally hurts my heart. By thursday of this week I was driving home in tears.

You see, I work with the kids that aren't necessarily excited for Christmas or Christmas break. They don't have a loving home to go to for 16 days, they look at it as hell. They don't have a beautiful tree that will have tons of presents under it Christmas morning. The truth is, they would rather be at school. There they are safe. There they know what to expect. That is what hurts my heart. My daughter will never know what they know. Sure, she'll have pain, sure she'll experience some unpleasant things, but never what these kids experience. She always knows that she is loved, we tell her a hundred times a day. She'll never feel the pain of a beating. She'll never have to go hungry or without a present on an occasion.

When people ask what I do the response is usually, "I could never do something like that". This is my fear.... What if everyone said that? Who would these kids have? In fact, after watching the movie The Blind Side last night it makes me mad I can't do more. All the way home from the movie I kept thinking, "what more can I do to help?" A lot of times I have been asked if I wish I could stay home with my daughter or this next baby. The honest to God truth is that I don't have that wish. It has nothing to do with not wanting to be with them and everything to do with who I am. I just can't not help. I just can't not do something more than just me and my family. It is just who I am. I would be lost without it.

Sometimes it keeps me awake, sometimes it makes my mind constantly spin. What more can I do? What I am missing? It pains me to no end to think of all the children in this world that are living in hell. I wish I could help them all. I wish I could do more. For now though, I will go to work every day and help the ones that I can. I will love my daughter and this next baby and give them the best life I know how to give. I will teach them the importance of giving back and making a difference. For now, that is the best I can do and I'm okay with that.

Take a moment this holiday season when you are frustrated because the chaos is too much or the person next to you in line is driving you crazy or the person driving in front of you is making you angry to just stop. Just stop for a moment and recognize that it isn't worth your frustration, you have a good life. Just smile because you get to go home to a house that feels like a home with a family that makes you happy.

Wishing everyone the happiest of holidays.